Welcome, Baby Levi!

Welcoming our sweet little boy, Levi Matthew!!

Born October 29th, 2010 at 7:33am
8lbs 6oz (a little more than we anticipated!)
20 1/2 inches long

A few minutes after birth...getting checked over and weighed


Checking out Daddy...


First bath with aunt Carolyn (my buddy who was our nurse yesterday)


A sweet sleeper (well, on the first day anyway)


This picture looks a whole lot like a newborn picture of ME!


I'll tell more about how the delivery went later, but wanted to get some pictures up!!

Nope

Nothing to report. Nada. Zilch.

Many thought I'd go into labor during the full moon.

Nope.

It's not for lack of trying. I walked with Matt every night this weekend when he "poop-walked" Molly, and gazed at the moon the whole time. But.......no.

And then this low-pressure system (like the lowest low-pressure system EVER) arrived, and.........no. Not yet.

So I'm sorry, inquiring minds, I wish I had more to report!!! As much as I'm like, "C'monnnn!!!!!!" I still have to remember: I'm a first-time mom, and I'm not even 39 weeks. Barring an induction, I may have had no business expecting to deliver for two more weeks. That's just the way it is. I just really want to go into labor prior to said induction, and it probably just won't happen! Oh well!!! I'll enjoy one more day!!

Less than 2 weeks!

Less than two weeks left until I either spontaneously go into labor (full moon next weekend, baby!) or am induced!

We're all ready...room: check.


Laundry: check. Diapers washed and ready: check. (Thank you, Beary, for being such a willing participant.)


Carseat adjusted and bases installed: check.


(Cute picture of Matt, BAAAAAD example of proper strap adjustment. Though it's surprising how many people will put their baby in the carseat this way, because when they properly tighten the straps the baby cries...*and we sure can't have that!!!* Um, if you want to continue to appreciate the cry of your sweet baby after you get rear-ended, stop hard, or get in an accident, you'll adjust them properly!)


Much better!!!! Beary is now safe!

Pediatrician chosen: check. Check, check, check.

Here's the 37-week shot...


And remember this sweet face at 20 weeks???


Here it is at 36 weeks...


I know, kind of a blurry shot, and then it's a picture of a picture, so it's even worse...but if you cock your head to the right, you're looking straight on at it - you see the shadow of an eye socket, a nose, and a pouty little mouth and chin, and slightly chubbier cheeks than a few months ago!!

Well, soon we'll be posting pictures of the real deal and you won't have to use your imagination!!

Breaking up is hard to do

Dear Facebook,

I've been thinking about this for quite some time and can't get away from the niggling thought that perhaps our relationship has come to an impasse.

I want to break up with you, but I just can't.

Being with you is like being in a loser dating relationship. Okay, maybe that's kind of harsh. Being with you is like being in a relationship that's not all that great, but not all that bad. I mean, it's not like you're BAD for me, really. But I'm more dismayed with you than I am pleased.

At first, it was bliss. It was like, instead of having to drive all over town to see each friend individually - which would be a cumbersome activity for one day, or even one week - I had discovered it was like walking into a coffee shop where all of my nearest and dearest AND people with whom I probably never would have reconnected are all there at once!!!! And we can gab, catch up, see what's changed, get that quick update on how a doctor's appointment went, exchange that recipe, share a quick laugh, and exclaim over wedding or vacation or baby pictures. I mean, that's pretty sweet. Where DID so-and-so end up? You mean they live right down the street? NO WAY!!! Connections are made, bridges are built, you don't have to wait until the class reunion to see how or where someone ended up or what they look like or did they ever end up marrying that one guy/girl? Oh my goodness, their kids look just like them...how fun. And on and on and on.

And then there's the coolness of wanting to shoot off a quick email to someone, but you don't know their email address. No worries, you can either look it up under their info, or just send them a private message right there.

Sometimes, Facebook, you do build a supportive little community. There are people that I do feel like I know a little bit better because we're "friends" and we wouldn't talk on a regular basis otherwise. Who knew that this person has some really great insight into ______? Or a quick word of encouragement could come from the person you least expect at just the right time? People ARE there to cheer with you, share a good laugh, offer a quippy reply that puts a situation in the right perspective, or just let you know they're thinking about you.

But, Facebook, you have some not-so-great sides. And that's why we're at this impasse. It's not all your fault, much of it IS mine. Maybe it's just ME that's changed and you've been this way all along and now I'm over you.

You're a supreme waste of time. I know I don't spend as much time on you as I could during the day, but I know I don't resist you as much as I could, either. I can get sucked into your abyss and easily fritter away a good half hour or more...and not necessarily to my benefit, but more or less walking away feeling drenched in the banality of it all. Do I know anyone any better now that I know they can't wait for the weekend (again), or that they reeeaaaalllly needed their chai latte SO BAD this morning, or that they stepped in what their cat ralphed on the floor?

Do I really benefit from knowing that someone "likes" yet one more thing, adding to a list that's longer than both of my arms? Oh....you like...let me see...sleeping with the fan on even when it's not hot out. Alright. (I know, I'm guilty as charged on that particular example.)

Facebook, why should I care who accessed my profile page, or who looked me up? Yet, you make me feel like I should care...maybe I DO care...who IS that interested in my life? Hmmmm....let me click here....

You cater to the attention-seeker in all of us, and is that really such a good thing? I mean, we're such a weird culture of people who want to appear fashionably oblivious and inaccessible (note the iPod buds in the ears), but our little posts are just screaming for attention, for people to "like" what we have to say, give us a little thumbs-up, a well-thought response. I'm guilty of it. I write what I think is a scintillating status update, and then I want to check and check and check to see if anyone responded, and admit I feel a little let down when no one says anything. What - that wasn't funny enough for you? My life isn't interesting enough for you to comment on? Huh? Is that what it is?

Good grief.

But then there's the people who Vaguebook. A frowny face. A *sigh.* A gloomy song lyric. Oh friend!!! What on earth is WRONG! Keep the masses wondering...did her boyfriend break up with her? Was it a really bad day at work? Oh my GOODNESS!!! Is she PREGNANT?!

Are we really keeping it real?

Clearly other people are spending more time on it than they should, just like I do. They complain about the amount of homework/housework/whatever they have...but they're clearly, um, not digging into it if they're updating their status and adding things to their "likes." They're exhausted and need to get to bed or get going or whatever....but they're...not. And I can't judge, because I do the same. I need to wash the dishes/do the laundry/crack my Bible but Facebook, I'm on YOU instead.

I might say my priorities are X,Y and Z...but the ways I spend my time reveal what my priorities REALLY are. And you, silly Facebook, are clearly more of a priority to me than other things that should take far more precedence in my life. Ewww.

But I just can't make the break. I've thought of it. But what if I miss something? What if I miss a great picture, a funny remark, or am totally, I mean totally out of the loop? What would that be like? I get a panic attack just thinking about it.

No Facebook, I can't end our relationship yet. I may be one of those silly girls who just keeps hanging on, thinking perhaps you'll change and make it easier for me to make the break. But with every friend request, every comment, every message, you suck me in a little more.

So I guess it truly is up to me to determine how you control my life and my time. It's totally up to me to discern if my words are really necessary, if I'm just trying to get some attention or if I just need to keep my mouth shut sometimes. Because even if I did break up with you, you're still only a few clicks away from resuming our full-blown, passionate relationship again. You're static; I'm the one who can choose to move closer or farther away. For where my treasure is, there is my heart.

I guess what I'm trying to say, Facebook, is that you're really not that great, but you're not all that bad, you're kind of fun, but you're really kind of stupid at the same time, but when push comes to shove, I'll end up keeping you around. Shutting you out of my life won't change the fact that my heart longs to be captivated by a series of status updates...and that says more about my heart than it says about you.

So I'm not sure how this is going to work out. Will I set a time limit each day? Declare Facebook fasts? I don't know. I'll have to take it to the One who ultimately should be captivating my heart above all others.

Love,
Jenny

Sooner rather than later?????

I went to my OB appointment today. Now starts the weekly checks to see if anything is "happening." We talked about induction, decided to put the 28th on the books after all, chatted about my ultrasound...and then she checked me...

...and muttered, "Oh, you DOG."

I'm dilated to 2cm and 50% effaced!!!!!!!!!!

Might not make it to the 28th after all!! Only God knows!

(BTW - I can walk around like this for quite some time, so don't get too excited...I'm not heading to the hospital...except to work of course...)

..and counting!!!

SOOOooooo...

Tomorrow is 36 weeks!!!!!! I canNOT believe we've made it to this point already!! Praise the Lord!!!!

I've struggled immensely with fear in this 30-something-week range, more than the first and second trimesters combined. When you have a first-trimester loss, it's awful, but for some reason I can wrap my mind around it a little better. Second trimester is horrid, because there really is a little person that you can hold and touch and see. You get into the viability range (23, 24 weeks) and you breathe somewhat of a sigh of relief, but you're kidding yourself if you think you're out of the woods yet. I breathed an eNORmous sigh of relief when I got past 28 weeks, because most 28-weekers I've taken care of turned out quite well. Sailed past 30 weeks, danced for joy at 32 (Holland keeps 32 weekers!! Provided they don't need a vent or something)...and then - oh my goodness. Wait a sec. We're fully in this thing now. The baby's room is ready. The showers are being thrown. People stop you on the street to ask when you're due, because now there's really no question about if you're pregnant or just...um, looking pregnant. A loss would be more devastating with each day. Did it move enough today? Wait...it's been several hours. Are my blood sugars too high and I don't even know it, between my really good ones after meals? My rational self competes with my way-too-much-knowledge-for-my-own-good self, topped with a hint of my ability to compLETEly irrational and dwell on the worst case scenario.

I have a small handful of girls to whom I go for accountability, and they've been praying for me in this area. And man, God has answered their prayers over the past couple of weeks. He HAS been showing me what my fear really is...an idol to which I'd rather cling than to Him. Fear gives me some semblance of control - I can Google symptoms, can access a variety of books and sites to answer my every question, heck - I can grab a doppler or have a fellow nurse put me on a fetal monitor to reassure me things are going well. I can obsess, ruminate, conjure up ideas...rather than just running to the One who is creating this child in the first place, whose days are already numbered and listed in His book, the One who will give him or her their very first breath...!!!!

Anyway, I think we'll soon have the date officially, but it's looking like I'll be induced the last week of this month. It's standard for gestational diabetics to be induced at 39 or 39 1/2 weeks - even if the baby has been measuring normal all along, it's still safest to catch it before it could potentially get too big. I'm 39 weeks on October 28th. My OB caught me in the hall at work yesterday and asked if I was thinking about induction dates, so we briefly chatted, and I'm sure we'll nail down an actual plan at my appointment this week. I could do it the 28th, or wait until November 1st (because I don't want to do it on the weekend, I don't want a baby sharing a birthday with any holiday if I can help it). For a handful of reasons I think I'll go with the 28th. That's 3 weeks away!!!!!! Aye!!!!! But we're so ready. I am at least...I think Matt's still wrapping his mind around it. ;)

I need to throw this on the table. I've done a lot of thinking about this, well before we even got pregnant. Much of it comes from a handful of years working on a postpartum unit and consoling moms who are exhausted, emotional, and falling apart because they're so overwhelmed and have so much to learn before they go home and take on this little person on their own. Anyway, we will SO look forward to the fun of introducing our Little Bird to everyone who has loved and prayed for him or her along the way...but we plan to do that primarily after we get home rather than in the hospital. Part of it is because since I'm delivering where I WORK, I'll already have a built-in parade of well-wishers who have been my cheerleading squad, 36hrs a week for the past, well, 36-ish weeks. :) In addition to resting, learning to breastfeed (hopefully!), and having the usual visits from doctors, medical records, parent advocates, nurses, etc etc. Additionally, I'm delivering as cold and flu season is starting to get into full swing and want to keep visitors to a minimum for the first couple of days. So if after we deliver you notice we're keeping it on the down-low, I really want to make it clear that in no way are we trying to leave anyone out or hurt any feelings. Once we're home, we'll gladly welcome visitors!!! But during those first few days it'll just be family and a small handful of our closest friends.

Granted, as a pregnant woman, I fully reserve the right to compLETEly change my mind at any given moment, and as soon as that baby is born, I may command that bleacher seats be set up IMMEDIATELY to accommodate the adoring public. ;) But for right now that's not the plan. :)

I have an ultrasound in about 45 minutes so I better fill my bladder (*sip* - DONE!) and get ready. I'll post pictures if they don't turn out scary-looking like my last ones.