Tuesday, January 6, 2009

No more sitting and waiting...

There is this "Far Side" cartoon that makes me roll, because it is SO STUPID, and if you understand how stupid it is it really makes you laugh. It shows a picture of this guy sitting at a desk in an office with a big picture window behind him. In the background, in another building across the way, is the face of a duck in a window. The caption reads, "(something-or-other)phobia: The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you." HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

So one morning I'm cleaning the kitchen after Matt left for work, and I'm suddenly struck with the distinct impression I'm being watched very intently. I ignored it for a few minutes, and then looked in the living room, and there's Molly, sitting at full attention with her ball next to her, waiting for me to do something terribly exciting. So that's when I took this picture.

I've been struggling lately with the sin of discontentment. I've been a lot like Molly, sitting and just wishing that something exciting will happen. I was cleaning out the basement a few weeks ago and came across an album of pictures from when I was living in northern Arizona...and MAN, are those sweet pictures. Pictures of places that you only see in professional photographs in art galleries, and there I am, sitting in them, grinning away. I started getting really envious of the life I used to be able to lead - throw everything in storage and head for parts unknown. And my inner two-year-old starting whining. I'm bored. It's cold. I'm just another boring married person with a mortgage and a deep freezer. Ugh. Now my greatest adventure is a trip across town to Repcolite to pick out paint chips. Maybe an omelet at the Windmill with Matt on a Saturday morning followed by a game of Scrabble. SCRABBLE! Oh my word.

Discontentment is sin. It leaves me shaking my fist at God and essentially saying, "You totally blew it when you put me here/gave me this job/whatever." It leaves me feeling jealous of people who live in more exciting places. It strips me of the ability to notice that, holy cow, maybe the place I am IS the most amazing place ever if I just exercise some creativity. It makes me lust and covet for things I don't or can't have, and I wind up totally ungrateful. Matt would probably say, "So how's that working out for ya?"

I have been treasuring this sin in my heart and it is wrong. And it's left me sitting in neutral, wishing for something grand to happen. *I know that some of you are thinking, "Well something grand COULD happen...you could have a baby..." Be patient!! :D* I mentioned in my last post that I have been neglectful of some awesome friendships God has put in my life. I have my Big Three - three girlfriends who I have tended to let slip through the cracks, and they are going to be part of my Great Adventure this year. I wrote to Renee - my terribly adventurous, cool travel buddy with whom I have mountain biked through Sedona, AZ, hiked in the state of Washington, and galavanted around Vancouver, British Columbia - and declared that we shall go on a long weekend/road trip this summer. She replied, "Great idea! I might be hiking up Mt. Kilimanjaro in July, so I'll need some conditioning." (Contentment, Jenny, contentment. I love staying in Michigan I love staying in Michigan I'm not jealous I love staying in Michigan...) My friend Mary and I decided to start up a little Bible study together since we can't attend the Wednesday morning one at church, and I invited Kristin to be a part of it with us so she can get some badly-needed fellowship too. We're going to study Carolyn Mahaney's "Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother." And with my dear friend Becky I plan to be intentional about seeing regularly rather than once every six months.

So no more sitting and waiting. This year I hope to reap the fruit of being intentional about growing in relationships...and maybe getting in a fun road trip or two so I can add some more fun pictures to my collection.


The Smith Family said...

Thank you for being transparent Jenny. Discontentment is definitely a sin I can struggle with on any given day. Even on days when I get or am doing exactly what I want, I can always find room in my heart for this sin. Thankfully we have a gracious God who forgives us and will teach us to be content!
Miss and love you Jenny!

P.S. Virginia Beach has some pretty cool picturesque places...nothing like the Grand Canyon, but at least you would be here!!! ;)

sarah.simpson said...

Jenny dear one, once again your blog has touched my heart. Since we live so far away, I appreciate the opportunity to share your inner-most thoughts in this manner. From my perspective (being the age I am!!!), there are positive and negative aspects to the choices we make in our lives. Hopefully the positives will outweigh the negatives in the long-run. I can certainly understand how you would miss the travel and the excitement of a new situation. We are proud of the loving, secure, and rewarding life you and Matt are making in a location that you both love and appreciate. As the daylight hours lengthen, the winter will soon become spring, and the additional hours of sunlight and outdoor activities will help to alleviate some of the "seasonal affective disorder" feelings we experience when it is dark and cold. May will be here before we know it and we will be lucky enough to have you here for a visit. We are looking so forward to that time. You have established wonderful and caring relationships with friends both locally and in your travels and I know that they treasure you as much as we do. I love you, CA Mommy (Loved the picture of Molly with her ball at the ready!)